Gone For Good
by Ginger Paws 14
Summary: She remembered it so clearly. The last time she said goodbye to her love, Sirius Black. He had held her and told her not to worry. He was truely wrong....


I remember it so clearly. It has been creeping across my mind everyday since he was sent away.

_"Don't worry," _he had told me. _"I'll be back. I'm just going to check on Prongs." _He knew he wouldn't be back. He lifted my chin and gently kissed my trembling lips. Somehow I had known. Peter had been the spy and they never should have made him secret-keeper. My love would not return. I didn't want him to leave me yet. I wasn't ready to be alone. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his for a last time. A tear crept down my cheek. I just wanted to hold on forever. Never let him go. He ran his finger over my cheek to catch the tear but couldn't hide the tears on his face. I saw them. "I love you," he whispered in my ear. In response to confession I burst out into tears. I hugged him tight and cried into his shoulder. He hugged back just as fiercly and held me until I had stopped. _"Don't leave me," _I cried. He kissed me and turned to the door. "I love you too," I called to him. He smiled at me and opened the door and made one of his final steps out of my life. The door closed behind him and I had to lay down and cry again. He was gone.

The next time I saw him was at his trial. I was sitting in the front row where he could clearly see me. Remus was sitting on my left. We were the only civilians allowed to witness the trial. It did not last even thirty minutes. The plaintive and prosecuter gave the evidense and had a few witnesses; Professor Dumbledore included. His eyes never left my face through the entire trial. He knew his fate was already determined. The evidence was agaisnt him and he wasn't allowed to present any of his own evidence. My face was wet with tears and he was starting to cry while he was in the witness bench. The gavel came down hard and fast sealing my love's fate. He was lifted by baliffs who started to carry him. _"Wait!" _I hollered. The baliffs stopped at my call, shocked someone would halt the imprisonment of a murderer. I ran up to my love and wrapped my arms around him crying. The right baliff released his arm. He held me close and kept telling me _"I didn't do it." "I know," _I kept saying back. The judge decided that that was enough and called for the baliffs to take the prisoner to Azkaban. I would not let go of him and Professor Dumbledore and Remus came to me for comfort. Each held one of my drooping shoulders. _"It's alright," _They'd tell me. _"He lied to us all."_ Or, _"He doesn't deserve you. Forget him." _How can you forget someone who has been in your heart even before you, yourself, realized it. I can't. He was my soul mate and he didn't deserve Azkaban and dementors. Remus escorted me home. I could not function. My heart had shut down on strike taking my mind with it. The only thing my heart and mind could think about was him.

He was not allowed visitors so I didn't see him until thirteen years later; Four days ago. He had escaped from his cell. He later told me his methods and reasons. I was still living in our house to keep our memories. He was laying in our bed, passed out when I traveled up the stairs to the dark room. I turned on the lights and saw him there; raggy cloths, tangled hair, and dirty body. I ran to him after the inital shock. (No one had yet learned of his escape.) I lifted his head and whispered in his ear. All he did was turn over and mumble. I leaned over and kissed him and he slowly opened his eyes. I pushed my hair behind my ear and genuinly smiled like I hadn't in years. He was back and I wasn't going to let him go. He sat up and pulled me to the bed with him. He hugged me tight and kissed me like never had before. He still loved me. I slid down to him and laid my head on his chest. "I love you so much," he said to me sitting me back up again. We spent the evening together in bed. He told me what it was like in Azkaban. I told him how he had kept invading my mind and I couldn't find any way to visit him. We were interupted only by a phone call. It was Remus.

_"He escaped!"_

_"Can I still trust you, Remus?"_

_"Of course you can."_

_"He is here with me."_

_"HOLY HELL! He can't be there! Your house is the first place they are going to look! Get him out of there!"_

_"Thanks Remus. Bye."_ I hung up and walked to him on the bed where he was still laying in the blanket.

_"You have to leave."_ I told him with tears. He didn't want to leave me again. Despite the danger, he refused to leave. I flopped down with him and cried again. he had to leave. It was better being without me in the real world than in Azkaban without me. He reluctantly agreed. He got dressed and held me. We kissed for a full two minutes before Snuffles left me forever.

Now he is dead I and I will never see my love again. At least he is safe in heaven and with James and Lily. I am left alone with Remus with no will to live anymore. Many times I have considered joining him but Remus won't let me. I remember him every day of my life and dream about his laughter and jokes and kisses at night. His stubborn nature keeps his memory from leaving me.

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A/N-- I can't believe I acctually wrote this. . . I just got into the mood from "Letter Never Read" and decided to do this one. Picture this as any girl you like. Everyone has their own view. Me included. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reivew! (Also, if you have no **constructive** critism or compliments then please keep it to yourself. . .) 


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